names are confusing ♦

So not even an hour ago I post something about wanting that other job that I accepted, but was not permitted to pursue once they knew I was accepted to nursing school.

I was, of course, crushed by this, because I'd gone through the two-step PPD testing (needles aren't my friend), passed the drug/alcohol screens (I'm boring, wasn't worried), and come up clean on all my background checks... But I'd been honest with HR. I told the nurse manager I was accepted to an accelerated program because I did not want her to train me, get used to me, and then have me put in my two-weeks notice in May. It felt wrong, so I told them the truth against the advice of my future-MIL. I got burned. Total radio silence. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'd done this to myself by warning the managers.

I figured, well, I deserve that, right? Managers don't look out for me, most people don't look out for me, why did I ever think it was right to look out for a few administrators in a hospital system?

So I told myself weeks ago that I was done crying and fretting over that. I'd made my stupid choice and now I had to live with it, and going forward I'd never be honest with a manager again.

But then—a guy called me today and asked if I'd be interested in interviewing for a float pool specifically for nursing students...

So while I'm not getting my hopes up again, I'm a little more at peace with the decision I made. Maybe it really was the right one. Maybe it's okay not to sacrifice something I value to screw other people over, even in a world that feels crushing and unjust a lot of the time.

So thanks, prophetic journal entry! You're pretty cool!!